Copywriting Analysis of Jon Gardner Voice-Overs by Jon Gardner Media

Video: Copywriting Analysis Express of Jon Gardner Voice-Overs by Jon Gardner Media

Jon Gardner Voice-Overs is a “signature voiceover service” made by Jon Gardner for clients that include software companies, advertising firms, zoological gardens, educational institutions, and fitness centers.

Summary

He’s addressing businesses that need a voiceover professional to help advertise their services.

That’s the most generic description of his offering that I could think of because Jon makes it hard for me to understand who he’s targeting.

His already small homepage can be reduced even further because the copy that I found didn’t bring me closer to the dotted line to sign.

By the way…

I’m sorry. You just missed the complete analysis.

I optimized Jon’s website from top to bottom and recorded my findings in a video that is different from the express version above. I looked at every single detail I could find, but the video will never be public.

Click here if you don’t wanna miss future in-depth analyses and get on my private email list.

Anyway. Let’s continue…

The structure of his page

1st part - Header

2nd part

3rd part

4th part

5th part

6th part - Footer

And a slide-in popup that is a short quiz.

What could be improved?

Quite a lot, and it starts with functionality. But there’s one thing I REALLY liked (see below).

Jon should fix the “Get A Quote” call-to-action. It’s telling when the first thing to click on doesn’t work.

Downsizing the logo would also be good. It’s a massive logo and it doesn’t communicate much to me.

Providing actual contact information after a call-to-action that says “Contact Jon Gardner Voice-Overs” would be nice.

While his portfolio with clients like Apple, Disney, and Coke is impressive, the VoiceZam player didn’t allow me to properly swipe down. I had to reach for the edge of the site to continue swiping. Not good, and not convenient for the visitor.

I also don’t understand why you would want a “Connect with Me” call-to-action inside the VoiceZam player when I’m already on Jon’s website. Doesn’t make sense to me. But I’m also not the biggest fan of VoiceZam’s way of embedding a massive player on people’s websites.

Jon’s list of logos from recent clients is nice, and I’m not only saying that because there are two German companies among them. But it would be even nicer if he added a testimonial to each logo so that it’s not only a logo to brag about but something that adds value—a great testimonial usually does.

The following copy including…

…didn’t move me in any way. It’s generic text with no soul and “realness”. Underwhelming. In fact, the copy could be turned into one compact paragraph.

Something like…

Voice ages well. When I deliver real voices, I integrate 25 years as a radio personality and 50 years of life experience as a loving father, a good friend, and a caring husband.

Being a good businessman, I sign off every contract with the assurance of high quality and excellent customer service. That’s what I stand for, and that’s why I sign every piece I send out. Yours too.

For this example, I came up with the numbers (25 and 50 years). So, I don’t know this data from Jon but I know he has a background in radio.

However, the slide-in quiz is nice. Only the call-to-action is lame. See what I’m suggesting instead at point 9 in my takeaways.

And here’s a before and after screenshot of what I rewrote for Jon’s about section.

CheckWise homepage original
Jon’s VO homepage - original
CheckWise homepage my revision
Jon’s VO homepage - my revision

You can see that I made the copy more personal. I also added mental images for the reader, worked with contrast, and use rhymes as a rhetorical device to make it a fun rhythmic read.

It’s not a final text but it’s something Jon can work with.

Takeaways from Jon Gardner Voice-Overs

  1. Check your links. It needs to work first, then make it pretty and make them feel good. It’s… form follows function, not the other way around.
  2. Scale your logo so that they see where they are and what it means to be with you. But don’t try to walk into their face.
  3. Care about every single detail of the experience, specially if you talk about a “customer-focused mindset”.
  4. Complete the client’s story. It starts with their logo, continues with your work, and ends with their words of appreciation (and great results).
  5. Avoid generic text like the pest.
  6. Get real by talking like a (real) person. You don’t need 3rd-person corporate bullshit lingo.
  7. Show yourself. If being real is your deal, add a nice headshot of yours so we all connect to your wrinkles and dimples. That’s what being real means.
  8. Don’t tell me about a “real voice”, show me that you’ve been through glory and defeat, and tell how that story went.
  9. It’s not “Do I Really Need A Pro?” but “Why you need a Pro?”.
  10. Test your site on every common device. It’s reasonable (even desirable) to adapt your copy and design to different devices, especially when what works on the computer doesn’t work as well on the phone.

What to do next

Subscribe to my private email list so you can get ALL of the in-depth copywriting breakdowns delivered straight to your inbox, automatically.

Send me a comment and let me know what you liked about this website and the analysis.

Tell me about your project. Maybe I can help with your website copy and marketing, or reach out to my network.


served by naii.io