Video: Copywriting Analysis Express of Jon Gardner Voice-Overs by Jon Gardner Media
Jon Gardner Voice-Overs is a “signature voiceover service” made by Jon Gardner for clients that include software companies, advertising firms, zoological gardens, educational institutions, and fitness centers.
He’s addressing businesses that need a voiceover professional to help advertise their services.
That’s the most generic description of his offering that I could think of because Jon makes it hard for me to understand who he’s targeting.
His already small homepage can be reduced even further because the copy that I found didn’t bring me closer to the dotted line to sign.
I optimized Jon’s website from top to bottom and recorded my findings in a video that is different from the express version above. I looked at every single detail I could find, but the video will never be public.
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Anyway. Let’s continue…
1st part - Header
2nd part
3rd part
4th part
5th part
6th part - Footer
And a slide-in popup that is a short quiz.
Quite a lot, and it starts with functionality. But there’s one thing I REALLY liked (see below).
Jon should fix the “Get A Quote” call-to-action. It’s telling when the first thing to click on doesn’t work.
Downsizing the logo would also be good. It’s a massive logo and it doesn’t communicate much to me.
Providing actual contact information after a call-to-action that says “Contact Jon Gardner Voice-Overs” would be nice.
While his portfolio with clients like Apple, Disney, and Coke is impressive, the VoiceZam player didn’t allow me to properly swipe down. I had to reach for the edge of the site to continue swiping. Not good, and not convenient for the visitor.
I also don’t understand why you would want a “Connect with Me” call-to-action inside the VoiceZam player when I’m already on Jon’s website. Doesn’t make sense to me. But I’m also not the biggest fan of VoiceZam’s way of embedding a massive player on people’s websites.
Jon’s list of logos from recent clients is nice, and I’m not only saying that because there are two German companies among them. But it would be even nicer if he added a testimonial to each logo so that it’s not only a logo to brag about but something that adds value—a great testimonial usually does.
The following copy including…
…didn’t move me in any way. It’s generic text with no soul and “realness”. Underwhelming. In fact, the copy could be turned into one compact paragraph.
Something like…
Voice ages well. When I deliver real voices, I integrate 25 years as a radio personality and 50 years of life experience as a loving father, a good friend, and a caring husband.
Being a good businessman, I sign off every contract with the assurance of high quality and excellent customer service. That’s what I stand for, and that’s why I sign every piece I send out. Yours too.
For this example, I came up with the numbers (25 and 50 years). So, I don’t know this data from Jon but I know he has a background in radio.
However, the slide-in quiz is nice. Only the call-to-action is lame. See what I’m suggesting instead at point 9 in my takeaways.
And here’s a before and after screenshot of what I rewrote for Jon’s about section.
You can see that I made the copy more personal. I also added mental images for the reader, worked with contrast, and use rhymes as a rhetorical device to make it a fun rhythmic read.
It’s not a final text but it’s something Jon can work with.
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