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My 2022 Integrity Report

Am I the person I claim to be? My 2022 Integrity Report
Am I the person I claim to be? My 2022 Integrity Report

Today I am publishing my 2022 Integrity Report.

It’s January 5th, 2023 at 10:27 PM local time here in Syracuse, NY, USA.

This is an exercise I (intend to) do each year because these reports provide a reason for me to revisit my core values and consider if I have been living in a sincere way. Basically, my Integrity Reports help me answer the question, “Am I actually living like the type of person I claim to be?”

There are 3 main questions that I will answer in this Integrity Report.

  1. What are the core values that drive my life and work?
  2. How am I living and working with integrity right now?
  3. How can I set a higher standard in the future?

You are welcome to use this format to conduct your own Integrity Report (if you are into that kind of thing — thx James Clear).

1. What are the core values that drive my life and work?

These are five containers (or capsules) for my core values:

  1. Adventure
  2. Democracy
  3. Beauty
  4. Darkness
  5. Fortress

And below are my core values and some questions that I use to think more deeply about for each area. Since this is my second Integrity Report, I’ll use my My 2021 Integrity Report as a source to define what I would consider my baseline values, in addition to James Clear’s list of over 50 core values, to make sure my core values are up-to-date.

My core values might change throughout my life as a form of self-discovery, or they might not. We’ll see.

I. Adventure

II. Democracy

III. Beauty

IV. Darkness

V. Fortress

You might like to use the above questions to think through your life, but you are welcome to develop your own list of core values. If you want to create your own Integrity Report, feel free to browse this list of common core values.

2. How am I living and working with integrity right now?

If the above are my core values to adhere to integrity, how am I applying them in real life? Do I live and work with (more) integrity?

I. Adventure:

I didn’t go on my annual one-month research trip, but I used every little opportunity to walk and integrate daily, super small-scale adventures into my daily life.

I started one-month research trips in 2017 (Cuba) and I liked it so much that I did it again in 2018 (Madagascar). In 2019, I didn’t do it because my startup-related business travels (4 months and €12k expenses for the failed startup studioslist.org) were too expensive that I had no more money left in September. Plus, I stopped working with that client who generated the majority of my income. In 2020, I had a business trip to Orlando for a conference in March, but then… well everyone knows about the pandemic. In 2021, it also didn’t happen because I didn’t have the money, agency work didn’t allow me to take 1 month off, and Covid was still there. And in 2022, I stopped working with the agency (in September), transititioned to being a full-time voiceover artist, made no money, and had no money for a research trip.

I helped a friend from Iran, who is now living and studying in the U.S., with the transition from Iran to America, and I was trying to encourage her as good as I could. We were in a relationship for a couple of months but then we stopped being romantically involved. She was the love of my life, and now it seems we are friends.

“Until proven wrong” is still my go-to mantra when it comes to challenging my beliefs, convictions, biases, and ideas about things. It helps me keep an open mind. One example from 2021 is a question I asked a couple of friends, “What is love for you?” They replied in their unique way, and it challenged the way I see love, because back in 2021 my “love bucket“ was depressingly empty. It got filled up in the second half of 2022, and now it’s drying out again, going empty. And when I say “love” I mean relationship love, I don’t mean love for humanity, human connection, and the connection to nature and wildlife. This type of love has been intact.

With the people I care about I kept the connection intact through video catch-ups in 6-week intervals, sometimes more than six weeks, but that’s ok. It’s been working well with most friends and acquaintances. When I have these conversations, what matters is 1) the quality of our connection and 2) the value shared in our connection.

II. Democracy:

The power of the people (demos kratos) starts with the individual, and to experience empowerment you want to have self-respect. If you respect yourself, you value yourself. If you value yourself, you know what you stand for. If you know what you stand for, you can use all you got for preserving what you stand for. That’s my view of self-respect in the context of democracy. Voting, as part of my “civilian duty”, and the act of not having done it for a decade now or so, is one thing I can think of in terms self-empowerment. I also felt empowered when in the {Sunday Truth 91} I expressed in clear words:

That was very encouraging and self-assuring.

Last year, I wrote about the people in Afghanistan when I thought of equality and fair treatment, with the new Taliban regime not looking promising, especially when it comes to the rights of girls and women. And for 2022, I’m moving further West to Iran where people are depressed, oppressed, and murdered. Because of that and the particular insight from my Iranian ex-girlfriend (I still have to get used to calling her my ex), I created a 5-part bilingual series on YouTube, in German and English:

Similar to 2021, I was also lacking direction several times in 2022. I was dissolved and lacking focus. I’m still not sure how to keep it under control, but my best guess is still a mixture of discipline and creating a regular space for “pointless exploration,” so that I can give the creative monster inside of me the room it claims and wants. This space for pointless exploration being my 7th-week-sabbaticals, where I follow my other non-business interests for a week with no agenda or goal, pure gut, and nothing scheduled in my calendar. It’s a very impulsive week, and sometimes it’s a week where I catch up with other kinds of work, like writing My 2022 Annual Review, My 2022 Integrity Report (which you’re reading now), and My personal goals for 2023 and My business goals for 2023.

III. Beauty:

“supertramp serenity ÷ pan tropilactica” is very much alive. By the execution of making progress towards Susé Patrola, my story production company in progress, I’m applying the mantra that is about being adventurous, bold, and serene, while keeping the love for Tibet alive as well as my deep fascination for all things tropical and galactic. By executing my dream, Susé Patrola, my current business naii.io, and my artist self that I call “iian” (my three creative capsules) I’m allowing to show my true self. Me dancing in public (YouTube) from May 2021 is still one example of me being truly me. A 2022 example would be my 2-hour-and-20-minutes-long unedited recording of my dancing wildly: “HARD & PURE | NAKED & RAW feat. The Subways 🎸”. But YouTube blocked it because of copyright issues.

My voiceover studio is where I can be impulsive, wild, and vocally loud, and it’s also now become my home office and living room, because thanks to my new couch, the proximity to a supermarket, and a bathroom, I can live there as if it were my apartment. Maybe it is, for €193/mo it’s affordable for sure. I started renting it in December 2019, and it’s become my most important place and a dream come true. I want to keep the studio at all costs! It’s my sacred place because it’s where I’ll realize parts of my Susé Patrola work.

One year later, in 2022, I still appreciate the 45-minute walks to my studio from my residential address. But because of staying in the studio for many days in a row (and not walking there) and doing voiceover on a daily basis, I’ve lost parts of the drive of letting my inner child explores and be curious because the “transition walk” from residential address to studio is missing.

My contribution to the world was on a good level. Through the agency work I delivered weekly social media clips to the world, then in September and October nothing (in public), and then in November and December 93 fun smart voiceover video ads on YouTube.

IV. Darkness:

The most uncomfortable part of my five core values is darkness.

An example of this darkness shall be the prosaic-lyrical description of a dark place I’ve seen through my inner eyes on February 3, 2017, at 23.44 pm. It’s called SFBX, and you can read the write-up in My 2021 Integrity Report.

As you can see, darkness is, in this case, a place that leads to moving my complacent ass and get things done!

Other aspects of darkness are places where suicide seems like an option, though it’s a lazy and easy quick fix.

By reading Ryan Holiday’s “The Daily Stoic” every night since 2017/2018 – in German and English – I’m facing death right before I fall asleep and remembering that death is always a close companion that is kicking my beautiful ass.

V. Fortress:

Reading “The Daily Stoic” is also how I’m creating a resilient mind without becoming an emotional stone, a cliché typically associated with Stoic people. Through the same activity, I’m preparing for unexpected challenges as well, including death (as mentioned above in IV. Darkness).

I’ve become physically stronger. And I found, especially during my time here in Syracuse, NY, that playing ping-pong 🏓 and running outside is a lot of fun - the tension on my body while running is great; it gives me the Usaine Bolt feeling. In addition to doing 25+1 squats and push-ups in the rooms as a way to warm up. Back in Berlin, I want to apply this workout routine as well and sell my rowing machine, also because I need the money.

In 2022, there are still challenges in my life that I’m not facing:

These are three avoided challenges I can think of at the moment, and all of them require some form of money to pay for them, something which I don’t have at the moment.

I want to mention that very recently, in 2023 (which is strictly speaking not 2022 anymore, duh!), I started doing Mind Movies in the morning and evening in order to help achieve business success. The Mind Movies Matrix System use brain-stimulating sounds and affirmative messages to optimize yourself for maximum success in the area of your choice, my area being Business Success.

They say:

The Multi-Sensory Automatic Success System

Mind Movies Matrix optimizes your brain (and every area of your life) with advanced brainwave entrainment, subliminal messaging and the power of Mind Movies. Morry Zelcovitch, one of the world’s foremost experts in the field of Brainwave Entrainment, joins forces with Natalie to create a potent ‘6-minute a day’ subconscious success system.

Mind Movies Matrix: The Multi-Sensory Automatic Success System
Mind Movies Matrix: The Multi-Sensory Automatic Success System

When playing ping-pong I seemed to play better. But it could just have been my cranberry imagination.

3. How can I set a higher standard in the future?

Now for the hard part. Where am I currently struggling, and what can I do to improve over the next 12 months?

Easy.

Answer the following 2 questions with “Yes” for 2 years:

  1. Did you audition for 10 jobs today to have 70 auditions this week?
  2. Did you send 1 daily ad today targeted at a company you’d like to work with to have sent 7 custom ads a week?

“Easy”, right?

All I need to do is get to the point where I can say “Yes” at the end of the day to these two questions.

In my 2021 Integrity Report I would emphasize to “show up every day for 8 hours,” but that’s misleading since time spent doesn’t equal success gained. At least that’s my conclusion now.

Keep sending the {Sunday Truth} email on Sunday. There were a handful of occasions when I hadn’t sent the email on Sunday. I want to eliminate these occasions and always deliver on Sunday.

Get paid voiceover work, and deliver great voiceover client work. I know I can do it because until September 2022, during my agency time, I consistently delivered high quality work, on time, and they loved working with me.

Therefore, further I solidify voice-acting (spoken words) as my main profession by voice-acting on a consistent basis, particurlay for ads, and keep writing consistently to keep my level up and upper.

The Bottom Line

My hope is that my annual Integrity Reports help me hold myself to a higher standard and build a business that makes life a little bit better for others. I have made so many mistakes in the past, and I am sure I will make many more in the future, but I still find it remarkable how often I can screw up and still make progress as long as I am willing to take steps to improve.

As always, thank you for being part of this worldwide community. I’ll do my best to continue delivering ideas and stories that make your life better.

Integrity Report Archives

This is a complete list of annual Integrity Reports I have written. Enjoy!

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